June 23, 2010
Look Who I Met!
That’s me and Serenity!
Meeting her was awesome, as expected. I already knew that, of course, but it was cool to have her awesomeness reaffirmed.
Have I mentioned that you should all come to New York and hang out?
June 13, 2010
(Thank God) Wonders Never Cease
I don’t know about you, but I’m having one frantic summer. I went to a conference last week and worked from 8am-10pm every day and now I’m a fragile shell of a human being. And what’s even more frustrating is that my church hasn’t been much good in helping me refill ye olde well.
It’s now been a FULL YEAR since we had a pastor. The one I loved retired and since then we’ve officially been on the search for his replacement. Don’t get me wrong. I know we need to wait for the right person, but this is getting a little ridiculous. In the meantime, very well meaning congregants have been filling in but I really need consistency. This past year has taught me that I want to bond with the person who is standing up there every Sunday and I don’t do well with a rotating cast of characters.
But I have found something new and cool to get me through in the meantime. Well, new isn’t quite right. Reborn might be the better word. Our friend Rebecca Ramsey has written the awesome blog, Wonders Never Cease, for years, but a few weeks ago she made a big decision. She decided to change the direction of Wonders to have more of a focus on the spiritual and the effect has been wonderful. And the new design is beautiful too.
Now every day she posts insightful, funny, and whimsical thoughts on life, faith, and everything in between, weaving in some of the best quotes from the bible. And for me, it’s been a total life-saver during this hot and hectic summer of my discontent. If you haven’t checked out her blog lately, you should hop over there.
But I’m also wondering how you guys refill the old well when you’re running on empty. What with the economy still recovering and the kids home from the school, I can’t be the only person going crazy, right? Do you have some time-tested secret, like sleeping late or even watching reruns of your favorite TV show? Volunteering, maybe?
June 7, 2010
What I Did On My Summer Vacation
So you may have noticed I’ve been MIA (or you might not have).
It’s because I’ve been out of town. For, like, ever. Here’s what I’ve been up to:
I started off the trip with my brother’s law school graduation.
Somehow this is the only picture I managed to snap of the entire occasion. Note the startling lack of graduates. But there was much pomp and circumstance, and big egos, and entitlement issues, and free lunch, and much fun was had by all. My brother will (hopefully) pass the bar and become a corporate drone by the fall. Congrats!
Then my family went to Cape Cod for the week. It was lovely, and full of drama, and I wouldn’t change any of it.
My photos of this part of the trip are likewise odd.
Here’s me and my brother with my dad out behind a bathroom in Provincetown.
Here’s a giant anchor, which we seem to have five different photographs of.
Here’s me and Wayne some place I can’t identify, but is sandwiched between other photos of the trip, and must be from there somehow.
He’s a bog of some sort.
Then we came home for a night and headed off down to Washington DC, because my grandfather was being interred at Arlington National Cemetery. You may remember that my grandfather died last November, and we had a memorial service for him then. But today was what we’ve been referring to as The Big Show. My grandfather was in the Navy for 30 years, and he fought in three wars, and he loved to bore us with stories of boats (“it’s not a boat, it’s a ship!”) he served on, and so it made sense that he wanted that aspect of his life to be recognized on his death. So today, we had the ceremony where his ashes were actually laid at Arlington.
It was incredible. They had this horse-drawn thing and guys in navy dress uniforms (better than Fleet Week!) to escort him down to the place where they had a little service for us. Here’s a terrible picture of some horses’s butts.
Then there was a 21 gun salute, which was seriously impressive, and the Navy band (or part of it, I guess, including a whole flotilla of guys whose jobs it seemed to be to stand around holding bayonets and looking pretty) played Taps, and we all cried.
It was beautiful. He was a man who loved his country more than anything, and I don’t think he could have envisioned it better himself. It makes me happy to know that his years of service were valued and that he will always be remembered for serving his country.
We also took a tour of the cemetery, but were too lazy to get off the bus to look at the Kennedy graves (apparently I’m too young to understand the appeal) and the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier (which I saw when I was ten and couldn’t understand why this solider was walking back and forth in front of). But there were several old guys on the bus wearing hats that proudly proclaimed them as veterans of Korea, or of Vietnam, and even a few guys from World War II still hanging on, and they were cool. I wanted to go up and hug them, but I restrained myself. Even though I’m kind of a pacifist, I have a nephew in Iraq right now, and probably for the first time understand what a big deal it is.
And as you see, my photographic record of all of this was sparse. At some point during the ceremony I decided that my uncle, who is a professional photographer and had a real camera (these are all brought to you by my iphone) was probably taking enough photos for all of us and I should just let him handle it. Which may not have been the best idea, in retrospect.
And then we did what you always have to do whenever you’re south of the Mason-Dixon line: find a Waffle House. Man, those are some good waffles. I think my grandfather would have approved.
I learned many important and insightful things on the trip, first and foremost of which is that I suck as a photographer, but most of those will have to wait for another day. This post has already gone on forever.
So anyway, that’s what I’ve been up to. What have you all been up to?
May 28, 2010
Books and New Friends
Look who I got to meet!
That’s Deborah from Books, Movie, and Chinese Food,
And that’s Amy from My Friend Amy.
They’re super cool. I got to meet with them today at Book Expo America, which is a giant trade show for books. Hooray for books!
Speaking of books, guess where I’m going tomorrow?
On vacation! Where I will read books! Many of them, hopefully. I had so much fun stocking up at the library and the bookstore and BEA. Seriously, I think planning out my reading is quite possibly my favorite part of going on vacation. It’s my time to read whatever the heck I want.
I’m bringing: Steig Larsson’s The Girl Who Played With Fire (loved the first one), Sarah Dessen’s Along For the Ride, Richard Russo’s That Old Cape Magic (I’m going to the Cape, after all…), Lauren Oliver’s Delirium (just got the galley today and I’m super-excited), and Rhoda Janzen’s Mennonite in a Little Black Dress. Oh, and I downloaded Michael Lewis’ The Big Short to listen to in the car. So that should keep me busy for the week.
May 23, 2010
It’s Called a NetFlop
I was invited to the birthday party of a friend this weekend that STARTED at 10:30pm.
Shut the front door!
I begged the party planners to move it earlier and they just stared at me like I was nuts. Earlier? Why? I tried to explain that I hadn’t gone out at 10:30pm in ages. Sure, I had been out at 10:30pm, but I always get started at about 7pm. Starting at 10:30pm means you won’t be home till 2am.
At just the thought of this, my body and brain revolted as one. We can’t do that! We’re too old! So I bought her a fancy cupcake, brought it to work, and wished her a happy birthday there.
We’re getting a little long in the tooth these days so there’s nothing we like more than spending our Saturday nights watching a NetFlix movie with some Thai take-out and wine. Actually we did the math and we think we might be the people NetFlix loses money on. We have the three disks at a time plan and we are frantically watching and sending those disks o’ joy back. But every once in a while, someone puts a movie in the queue that SEEMS like a good idea at the time, but the moment NetFlix puts it in the mail, the disk begins to smell faintly of failure.
Does this happen to you?
Challenging foreign films are the worst about it. Nothing feels better than putting one of those in your queue. How educated and worldly, you are! You’re going to watch this film with subtitles that no one has ever heard of! But then the week happens, your boss yells at you, you hit the gym one too many times, it was your turn to cook the family meal, and you’re pooped on Saturday night and the challenging foreign film now just feels like a chore. Instead you reach for the brainless chick flick, mumbling something about how you’ll watch the challenging foreign film tomorrow.
But tomorrow turns into “next week” and then “soon” and eventually “someday,” until one dark day you grab the stupid thing, shove it back in the cheery red envelope, and send it back. You wave, as it were, the white flag of defeat.
We have one of these at our house right now and for a change it’s not a challenging foreign film. Oh no. Instead it’s a much-loved summer blockbuster: Star Trek. When Star Trek came out, people RAVED about it, and I thought, Oh, let’s put that in the queue! But now that it’s here, I’m having trouble finding the motivation to actually, you know, watch it.
On Friday night as we passed it over yet again, I turned to the Mr. and said: Hey, what do you call a NetFlix you never watch? He shrugged.
A NETFLOP! I said gleefully and then we watched Up instead (which was amazing, by the way.)
I may send it back this week, but the power of the NetFlop is strong. If you’re cheap like me, you have this incredible desire to watch the stupid thing and get your money’s worth. But the truth is, it’s probably a better financial decision just to send the stupid NetFlop back.
May 20, 2010
Family Time
I’ve been thinking about my family a lot recently, because I am going to see mine soon. My older brother Nick is graduating from law school next week, and after the graduation we’re all headed to Cape Cod for a few days to celebrate.
So I’ve been looking forward to this family vacation and getting excited about seeing my brothers again, and I was thinking about how much I enjoy spending time with them. I was also thinking about how much they’ve shaped me. See, I hadn’t really realized what a big deal having siblings was until I married Wayne.
Wayne has two bothers, but they’re 11 and 14 years older than he is (and an assortment of step-siblings, who are all even farther apart in age), so it’s not like he really grew up with them. For the purposes of understanding life with siblings, he’s basically an only child.
Me? I’m sixteen months younger then Nick, and two and half years older than Peter. So growing up, we were up in each others’ business all the time. We often had the same friends (Nick’s friends were on the swim team with me), took the same classes (Peter and I were in the same German class together one year), and spent huge chunks of time together for most of our childhoods.
And the ways we interacted with each other still affect the way I treat other people. For example:
Everything must be exactly even. If I’m pouring wine, I crouch down to make sure the levels are exactly the same. If I’m dishing out cake, the slices have to be exactly the same size. If we’re splitting something, one person does the splitting and the other does the choosing. Why? Because if something is slightly uneven, the other person is going to scream and yell and—
Well, apparently, that’s not how it works for everyone. Wayne makes fun of me. He has repeatedly told me that he loves me and doesn’t care if my piece of cake is slightly bigger. Which was a revelation. But that doesn’t really change my behavior. I still have to make sure everything is even, just because it’s ingrained in me.
“Buttface” is a term of endearment. When I call Peter, he still answers the phone “Hey, Stinky.” And I kind of like it. Because you know what? He wouldn’t bother if he didn’t care. If he wanted to get me off the phone right away, he’d just say my name. But calling me Stinky is shorthand for a lifetime of history between us.
Now, I don’t go around calling people I like Stupid all the time. But my good friends? Sometimes that’s how we relate to each other. I tell my best friend “you’re a nerd” all the time, because he is a nerd, and when he’s done something particularly nerdy, I like to point it out.
Wayne does not understand that at all. And sometimes I forget that. Calling him a nerd or a smelly loser is not something he finds endearing. So, ok. That’s something I need to keep in mind. But seriously. If he’s just had brothers his own age, he would get it, and it would make my life so much easier.
It’s possible to fight with someone you love. Wayne and I recently had an argument, and he told me afterward that it scares him when I get mad at him. I was, like, “huh?” Annoyed, I understand. But scared? He told me he never ever once in his life saw his parents fight, or even disagree, about anything. His mom recently backed this up. She said that she and Wayne’s dad really never had any differences of opinion.
I do not get that (how is that possible!? They were married for thirty years!), but that’s not my point. My point is that in my family, we fought like cats and dogs. My brothers and I could barely sit through dinner without yelling at each other. But even if I told Nick “I hate you and hope you die” (I’m pretty sure I never did, but just as an example) it didn’t really mean I hated him and hoped he died. It meant I was mad at him. Five minutes later, we would be laughing together, usually at Peter. We’d fight, but it didn’t change that I loved him more than words. In fact, it was because I knew he would love me no matter what that we could hash things out (if by hash things out, you mean throw chunks of ice at each other).
In my world, disagreeing is a sign that your relationship is secure enough that you’re not worried about losing it by speaking your mind. So for me, disagreeing is not scary. It’s a part of life, and how you work things out. Not so for everyone, apparently. Which is good to know.
Sometimes you do annoying things for no other reason than that they’re annoying. We used to call Peter Dohead. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s a completely made up term. But it used to make him crazy, and so we called him that all the time because it was funny to see him get mad. This happened regularly. If they found something that would annoy me, they would do it over and over, because that’s what siblings do.
Sometimes I still find myself reacting this way. I’ll catch myself making an argument about a text in Bible study not because I actually believe what I’m saying, but because it amuses me to see other people grapple with the questions I throw at them. I see myself doing things that I know will annoy Wayne, partly just because I can. I know it’s not good. And Nick and Peter, I blame you.
It’s funny how the people we grow up with affect who we become. Without my brothers, I wouldn’t be who I am. Which some people might find preferable, but whatever. They’re smart and funny and crazy in all the right ways. I couldn’t be prouder of the family I come from, and am thrilled to get to spend a week with them.
I’m sure we’ll fight and call each other names and probably not throw ice but possibly annoy each other on purpose, and it will be great. And hopefully, understanding how they shaped me will help me in all my relationships.
And Nick, congrats on Harvard. Seriously, it’s a big deal, and we’re all so proud of you.
May 16, 2010
The Buttered Popcorn Jelly Belly is My Favorite
Well, you know it was a good visit from a friend when you realize at the end of it that a crash diet is going to be VERY necessary. It’s not going to be a pretty week! Sorry, coworkers. I apologize in advance when I snap at you at 3pm when my hunger strikes and transforms me into a beast.
One of the Beths came to visit me this weekend and fun was had by all. We went to a Giants game and shivered. Beth pointed out her lips were actually turning blue.
And we went to Sonoma and Napa to indulge in a little wine tasting. We went to some of our usual standbys and then branched out to this place I’ve been dying to try: Sterling Vineyards. Why? BECAUSE THEY HAVE A GONDOLA. Yeah, like a ski resort gondola. Check it out.
I mean, combine wine, with glorious weather, amazing views, and A GONDOLA and I’m pretty much the happiest person on earth. Also the wine was pretty tasty. And seriously, check out the views. Yes, that’s a castle-y kind of thing there.
Okay one more for you. I’m sorry. It’s just so gorgeous, I can’t stop myself.
But the best part of the trip was Sunday, when we visited the nearby Jelly Belly factory.
I believe there are two kinds of people in this world: those who like the buttered popcorn Jelly Belly and those who do not. I, for one, believe the buttered popcorn bean is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. How, how could you NOT like it?! (Beth does not.) And in fact, at the factory we learned that it’s the second most popular flavor, falling just after cherry. So THERE, haters.
Also, on a scale of 1 to 10, how bad is it that I ate two cheeseburgers, a donut, and two pounds of jelly beans this weekend? Um, are we talking months of dieting here? Methinks yes. But it was worth it. So, so, so worth it.
May 14, 2010
Social Phobias
You know how when you’re dreading something, it just gets bigger and bigger in your mind until it’s all you can think about? I have these kinds of moments all the time—sometimes about dentist appointments and haircuts (a necessary waste of time), and sometimes long runs (I’m always glad I’ve gone ten miles, but psyching myself up for ten is often the most painful part). But usually my dread and fear revolves around social situations.
I love my friends. I love hanging out with people I know. But I’m actually pretty shy by nature (I know, it’s weird, because here I am telling you all about my fears online), and meeting new people can be hard, and while I don’t exactly TRY to avoid situations where I know I’ll be thrown in with a bunch of people I don’t know.. well ok, sometimes I do.
But I recognize this about myself, and I know it’s not good, so I sometimes force myself to go into situations that I recognize will be uncomfortable but I know will be good for me.
So last week, our wonderful agent Claudia invited me to come to her book club, and of course I said yes. How could I not? I love her, and I love books, and I was so honored that she asked that I ran out and got the book right away. And then proceeded to be terrified all week. You see, I’m kind of in awe of her. She’s super-smart, and super-fashionable, and super-cool, and she’s been amazing to us, and I always feel like at some point she’s just going to wake up and realize she’s wasting her time on me. So being invited to her book club AT HER APARTMENT with HER FRIENDS was frightening. I studiously read the book and took several calming breaths and found my way to a neighborhood that I could never in a million years afford to live in and prayed that I wouldn’t puke or cry, and went in.
And you know what? It was lovely. We had a good discussion about the book, and her friends were charming, and no one laughed and pointed and said I didn’t belong. I left feeling glad I’d come, which is what happens 99.9% of the time anyway. But somehow knowing that doesn’t make it any easier to convince myself when new opportunities come up. That’s something I’m going to work on. I’m going to try to be braver about approaching new situations. I really am. We’ll see how it goes…
May 10, 2010
Here’s the Thing About Eating Soap…
This weekend was not just my birthday–it was also Mother’s Day. Not enough for you? Okay, there’s actually more. I happen to SHARE a birthday with my sister in law so that means on Sunday we were celebrating two birthdays and a Mother’s Day. At one point I said, Can you imagine what happens when we’re all mothers?! The world is not ready for that yet. Oh no, it is not.
Needless to say, when all this celebrating got squeezed into one day, hilarity and shenanigans were afoot. The family decided to get high tea–just the seven of us–at this wacky place in San Francisco and each spot at our table had a small present, courtesy of the tea room. All of the girls’ gifts had these cute little tea steepers and colorful miniature cupcakes.
Exhibit A. Take a good long look at this. It factors into the story in a big way.
Like a raccoon with a shiny object, I immediately began to study my wee cupcake. It was much too hard to be a real cupcake but what was it? I sniffed it, but it had no smell. I squeezed it and it dented a little. I held it up to my in-laws and they studied it too.
“It’s chocolate!” My father in law said.
“Definitely! Chocolate painted to look like a cupcake.” My mother in law said.
I cut a small piece of it off and it did seem plausible that it could, in fact, be chocolate. Someone at the other end of the table said, “Is it lip gloss?” and I thought, Well, there is only one way to solve this. I’ll just taste it.
The next thought that ran through my brain can only really be described as: HOLYMAGEEWILKERSBLECHACK! ACK! WATER! ACK! GASP! PLEASESOMEONEPASSMETHETEA! AKCUEKA;DJK;!
As I frantically shook my head, poured anything within arm’s reach down my throat, and mopped the tears from my face, there was a slow dawning in my brain as to what the stupid cupcake must have been: soap. The trolly dolly soon confirmed that it was, in fact, soap and it became the story of the day.
Okay, fess up. Do you wash your kids’ mouths out with soap if they say a bad word? And if so, have you ever tried this yourself? Because you might need to rethink this policy. My parents probably WOULD have done this to me, as they are unrepentantly old-school when it comes to discipline, but I never, ever attempted to utter so much as “the f word” (fart) under their roof. And thank the lord for that because the taste of soap is not one you soon forget.
I would like to tell you that the tea was wonderful, that the little sandwiches were delicious, but all I tasted the rest of the day was soap. And even now, just thinking of the incident I can easily and most vividly recall the taste.
Give a hoot. Do NOT do this to your kids. No matter what they have done, they do not deserve this punishment.
[Kids everywhere: YOU'RE WELCOME]
