Anne & May

 
 
 
 

March 8, 2010

I Lost All My Computer Files and Lived to Tell

filenotfoundLast week I was doing a bit of travel for my day job when disaster struck. I don’t know about you, but I see these new checked baggage fees as a CHALLENGE. As God as my witness, I will NEVER pay a fee for my checked bag. No, no I will not.

And it was exactly this stubbornness that set me up for the Great Baggage Robbery of 2010. There I was at the airport with several bags when the woman at check-in explained that I could only check one bag for free. I quickly crammed what I could into my luggage–including my work laptop and my digital camera–and condensed everything else into my carry-on bag. Voila.

It wasn’t until I arrived back home at 1am and began to blearily unpack my luggage when I found the first clue: an empty digital camera case. I turned to the Mr. and said, “Was my camera stolen?” But just as soon as I got that sentence out, an even scarier thought hit me. WHO CARES ABOUT THE CAMERA! YOUR WORK LAPTOP WAS IN THERE!!!!!!

Yup. Gone. Probably at this moment it’s found a new owner via Ebay. I took the news fairly well at first. The Mr. convinced me that I’d be able to access my work email folders and would probably be able to recover most of my documents. He also assured me I wasn’t going to be fired–which had definitely crossed my mind.

The next day I went to work with my tail tucked between my legs and confessed my sins to my boss. He was very cool about it and told me to work on the loaner laptop until my new one arrived. We both agreed that it was very fortunate that my job gave me zero access to important docs and he lectured me about never, ever packing my work laptop in my check baggage again.

I sat down and logged into my email, feeling mostly better. But the funny thing was, all my email folders were gone. Well, this must be a mistake, I told myself. I called the IT department and they told me that no, it wasn’t. Apparently my email folders were not saved on the server. They were saved on my actual laptop. They were gone. Forever. In fact, all of my files were gone, never to return.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hang up and begin sobbing at my desk. I now only had the emails in my inbox and Sent items–and those folders only go back about a month. I’ve been at my company a long, long time. I save and file every single document ever. I’m a nut for organized digital folders. And all of it was gone in the blink of an eye. And no, thank you for asking, I never backed up.

The rest of the week was one of the most disorienting periods of my life. I kept telling people, It feels like I moved and none of my boxes showed up. Or, It almost feels like my house burned to the ground. Whoever saw me walking around like some shattered person immediately stopped what they were doing and backed up their computer.

The next few days are a blur, and that crying incident referenced above did not prove to be an isolated one. But slowly I recovered. I had people send me files I had sent them. I was able to re-create an alarming amount of data from memory. And eventually my new work laptop arrived.

Now that I have some distance from the incident, it has started to make me think. Obviously no one died and I didn’t lose my job. There are much, much worse things that could happen to me. And yet the pain of this incident was very real to me. It’s hard to describe how disorienting it is to lose access to documents you created, to the records you carefully saved for a rainy day. It’s a very strange modern-day anguish.

My sweet husband assured me that my reaction was not out of proportion. In fact, he informed me, there are therapists now who specialize in helping people cope with a massive loss of digital data. I’m not sure if that’s true or not, but I can tell you it might have been good for me to talk to a trained professional.

The feeling of loss was so acute at the time, and yet now I’m fine. What I’m discovering is about 99% of what I had, I didn’t really need. Knowing that those documents were there gave me a strange sense of security but I never really used them. The 1% I lost and could not recover–that was painful. But 1% is the kind of thing you can deal with.

I don’t think ever in our human history we’ve kept such detailed records of our lives. I almost never talk on the phone anymore. I just email my friends and family, and all the while Gmail is saving every last letter of it. Better still, should I want access to these conversations, I can just search for a keyword and they’ll pop right up. And perhaps this makes us feel a little less temporary, a little safer about our time here on Earth. When all my records disappeared, it was the thought of them being gone that disturbed me. It’s not like I really needed them for some pressing task. Well, most of them anyway.

I’m not completely sure I’ve fully digested exactly what my reaction to this event meant, but the one thing I definitely learned was: back up your computer. For the love of all that is sacred, stop what you’re doing right now and back it up. Someday you’ll thank me.

Filed under : It's a Family Affair, Pop Culture
By May Vanderbilt
At 12:00 am
Comments : 10
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

March 4, 2010

You Stay Classy, San Diego

Last week I was complaining that I was supposed to go to San Diego but wasn’t sure if I would make it because of the HUGE OMG ENORMOUSLY ANNOYING snowstorm that was slamming New York City.

Well, I’m pleased to announce that after only a three-hour delay and one scary cab ride where we couldn’t see the road (making it only marginally more dangerous than a usual cab ride), we did indeed take off for San Diego Friday!

And wow was it nice. I mean, San Diego’s not exactly the most awesomest place to take a vacation. It’s not Hawaii or Mexico. But I have this strange affection for San Diego. Part of it is that it’s California, and it just makes me happy to be in the state. Part of it was that we had a free hotel stay. Part of it is that my parents met and got married there, and I’ve always heard stories about what it was like when they were young and in love. My grandfather and uncle were stationed at the Navy base there, as was my brother-in-law, so I like it because of that too. And part of my love for it is because it’s always warm. (We got off the plane Friday and the locals were complaining about how cold it was that day. It was 70 degrees. We almost fell over laughing.)

And we had a good time. We went to many beaches. There was a surfing competition going on at this one.

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This beach in particular has a very laid-back vibe and was filled with hippies and surfers… and a couple from New York dressed all wrong.

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You think they can tell we’re not from here?

We got to see Mission San Diego, one of the original missions from the olden days, where my parents got married. There was a wedding going on, and the bride and groom were taking pictures in the same courtyard I recognized from my parents’ wedding photos.

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My dad called Saturday morning to tell me that there had been a major earthquake in Chile and that there may be tsunamis moving up the coast. I promised to run toward high ground if the beach suddenly emptied of water. He then proceeded to tell me that parts of La Jolla (a chi chi rich town on the coast) are below sea level, and suggested the best place to go to get a good view if the tsunami swallowed the area.

Silly me.

See, I thought he was calling to warn me to stay away from the beach because he was worried about my safety. In reality, he was telling me where to go to get a good view of La Jolla getting wiped out.

This is why I love my father. He’s totally twisted. At least I come by it naturally.

Thankfully for everyone but me, who was poised on top of Mt. Soledad with my camera lens zoomed way in, the tsumani only added about two feet to the waves and caused exactly zero damage along the coast. Despite the disappointment, it was a lovely view which I somehow failed to photograph.

When we weren’t disaster-hunting, we watched the sun set over the ocean.

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We strolled on boardwalks.

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Much Mexican food was had by all.

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Then we got back on a plane, and I felt like crying, because leaving California is always hard. Leaving California on a redeye flight when I know there’s snow on the ground in New York is just depressing.

Anyway, we’re back home again, but I will be back, California. Oh yes. I will be back.

Filed under : It's a Family Affair
By annedayton
At 7:54 pm
Comments : 10
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

February 28, 2010

(Virtual) Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

facebookAnne and I are very late and somewhat reluctant adopters of Facebook. We’re on there--but just barely. I didn’t even set the page up properly because back when I did it, I didn’t know what a Fan page was! There’s probably some way to convert it to a Fan page, but I just can’t be bothered to figure it out. That would take brain power, which is in very short supply in 2010.

Honestly, when it launched, I had two big worries. The first was: Would the right people find it? And the second was even more troubling: Would the wrong people find it? We set it up to connect with friends and family. You’re the right people! We wanted to get to know you better and Facebook has been a terrific way to interact with you, admire your adorable kiddo’s pictures, and laugh at your updates. You = awesomesauce.

However, I wasn’t nuts to worry the wrong people might find it too. “Wrong people” feels a little harsh, but you know who I’m talking about. I’ve had bullies from high school find me on Facebook and ask to be my virtual friend. Now, the angelic part of me wants to believe this gesture is an apology of sorts, an “I’m sorry about that time I told everyone you’re the worst cheerleader on the squad” kind of thing. But the naughty part of me believes they’re just Facebook stalking me, wanting to see if I turned into the sniveling little toad they always knew I’d be.

In addition to childhood meanines, I also have a few polarizing relatives who have found me on there, only to inundate me with their Very Important Positions on Highly Charged Topics. As if it weren’t already hard enough to smile and shove mashed potatoes into my mouth over the Thanksgiving turkey while they hold forth on said topics, now I have to confront this lecturing on a regular basis? This really isn’t doing wonders for our relationship.

The truth is, some relationships grow stronger with more interaction. Others need, ahem, a little more space to breathe. In the world of Facebook, virtual absence often does make my heart grow fonder.

How do you handle friend requests from people you simply don’t want to keep in regular touch with? If I deny their request, do they see it? Should I maintain my Internet boundaries or open the floodgates? Ack!

Filed under : Girl Stuff, Pop Culture
By May Vanderbilt
At 8:25 pm
Comments : 11
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

February 25, 2010

California Dreaming

Winter? I’m over you.

Seriously. Stop.

Today, I was supposed to finally –FINALLY—meet our blog friend Katie Noah Gibson, who has been a faithful reader and inspiring knitter/tea drinker for years. She was coming here! To Brooklyn! Four blocks from where I used to live!

I feel like I’ve known Katie for years, even though we’ve never actually met. I was telling my co-workers that I was leaving early to see my friend who I’d never met before, and they all looked at me like I was crazy, but that’s exactly how I feel. (When I finally met Kara in September, we already had years of history even though we’d never actually been on the same continent at the same time.)

Anyway, you can see where this is going. Winter intervened. Katie’s flight was cancelled because of a huge winter storm here on the east coast. (Another one. Seriously. It just never ends.) And we had to meet up today, because I’m supposed to go to San Diego for the weekend tomorrow morning. Supposed to being the operative phrase. I have no idea if we’ll actually get off the ground because of the storm.

Why was I heading to San Diego for the weekend, you ask? To escape the winter cold, of course.

A few weeks ago, my mom told me the tulips were coming up in our back yard in California, and I almost started crying. It was snowing here. I was not made for this climate.

So anyway, winter. I hate you. Go away.

At least March is in sight. March means hope for better things to come.

The only good thing about winter is this hat.

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That’s right. It’s a hat with a scarf attached. It belonged to my husband’s grandma. My mother-in-law gave it to me because I wouldn’t shut up about how cool it was. Who’s ever seen something like that? It’s awesome.

It’s so awesome it wanted its own picture, obviously. It kind of took over this one.

But other than this hat? Not at all cool. Winter, go away.

Filed under : It's a Family Affair
By annedayton
At 9:14 pm
Comments : 4
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

February 22, 2010

Suzy Homemaker

june_and_ward_cleaverLast weekend I realized something scary. I now need a full day from sun up to sun down to do all my chores. When did this happen? My husband, bless his heart, does half the chores so it’s not like I’m doing more than my fair share. It’s just that there are more of them now. Or perhaps my standards of cleanliness have changed.

That’s when I decided, I must be attacking my chores the wrong way. Do you spread yours throughout the week so it doesn’t hit you all on one long horrible day? Or do you have amazing time-saving strategies, um, like a Roomba? (I COVET THE ROOMBA. COVET!)

There are probably a few chores I could skip–but those are the ones I do to save money. For instance, every Sunday night I make my lunch for the week. Lately that has been a giant batch of egg salad. I figure I probably save $20-40 a week by not eating out. (Never mind the thousands of calories I save.) And then there’s dinner and it’s the same exact scenario.

And if you’re going to do all this cooking, then you have to go to the grocery store, which in San Francisco is never a quick thing. You should see the lines at our Safeway. They stretch deep into the aisles.

Other chores are good for planet and its people. Sure, I could throw away my old clothes but I know it’s better if I donate them, which entails quite a bit of laundry and folding and then a trip across town. And most of them are necessary for just basic standards of cleanliness. It’s appalling how much dust collects in just a week, how furry the floors get after just a few days.

So, seriously. What’s your secret? I know many of you are MUCH busier than I am and are cleaning up after darling little kiddos who aren’t much help yet with the chores.

Filed under : Girl Stuff
By May Vanderbilt
At 8:27 am
Comments : 8
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

February 17, 2010

Kitchen Confidential

In our continuing coverage of the impending apocalypse, I wanted to direct your attention to this helpful tip: Now you can make sure your pet will be taken care of after you’re Raptured away! For only $110, you can make sure Fluffy will be taken care of by a willing heathen if you’re taken up into heaven. According to Businessweek, the genius behind this idea “must reassure the Rapture crowd that his pet rescuers are wicked enough to be left behind but good enough to take proper care of the abandoned pets.” I don’t know why, but this story amuses me to no end.

In other news, my butt is healing nicely, curling is still boring, and our kitchen is done!

That’s right, we redid our kitchen. Wayne and I saved up our pennies and then went on a rampage at IKEA and then gutted our kitchen in January.

Before

Before

Also Before

We did all the work ourselves (and by that I mean Wayne did all the work), including tiling the floor.

This was accomplished with the help of a friend who immediately rocketed himself into “really good friend” territory by staying over for the weekend and teaching Wayne how to tile. Wayne also did all the cabinets and plumbing and other things I am still not sure he is qualified to do.

During

And after much blood, sweat, and tears, we’ve just about got the thing back together.

After

After

We went for shiny white cabinets because our apartment doesn’t get much light, and we wanted to play up the little light we do get. And because the cabinets are very modern while the rest of the apartment is kind of old-fashioned, we went for tiles that could have been in the kitchen originally to help tie the room into the rest of the apartment.

It’s very… white. I think we need some color. But for the first time in my adult life, I have a dishwasher, and it’s AMAZING. (These are not common in cheaper NYC apartments, which is exclusively the kind I’ve lived in.) I find myself wanting to just run it just to hear the water swish, even when we don’t have a load to put through. Also cool: the water dispenser on my Mom Fridge. May told me once how much she loved her water dispenser, but I was like, whatever, dude. Water comes from the sink and that’s fine with me. But seriously. It’s amazing.

[sidenote: I now know I have officially become boring because I get excited talking about home renovations.]

You’re all invited over for a meal anytime you’re in the area. Come on by!

Filed under : It's a Family Affair
By annedayton
At 8:59 pm
Comments : 15
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

February 14, 2010

Do You Like the Olympics?

At the risk of being the world’s most stereotypical girl, I’m going to confess that I hate watching sports. There are a few exceptions to this rule. I never mind watching the last quarter of a very close Gator football game (Go Gators!!!) and late in life I have decided that it’s KIND OF fun to watch sports live, as in at the stadium/court/rink with a nice frosty beverage in my hand.

But that’s really it. And I promise that is a huge improvement for me. Before I met my husband I watched exactly zero sports. The irony here is that I love to play sports, but for some reason if I’m not playing in the game, BLLUBBBTTTTTHHHHHH.

Let’s be honest, I’m HARDLY alone on this one. However, this mind block for me continues to the Olympics and that’s where I seem to be on my own. Everywhere I turn, people are freaking out about the Olympics. They’re talking about who is winning what, where you should eat in Vancouver, what the Ralph Lauren outfits look like.

rings

Are you in to the Olympics? If so, can you explain it to me? And to be clear, I don’t just hate the Winter Olympics. That’s probably what you’re thinking. I hate the Summer Olympics too! I know! It’s downright un-American of me, unsportsmanly! Maybe I even hate pepperoni pizza! (False.)

I think part of it is, I’ve never heard of these sports they’re playing. Luge, speed skating, curling, and BIATHALON?! I mean, these people ski and then shoot at targets. REALLY, WORLD?!? This is what we’re watching now? Do you realize there is perfectly good TV on, even as I type this? Like maybe How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days? (Not that that’s on in the background right this very second. No, that would be silly! Because I’ve already seen it several times.)

So what I’m asking you is, Can you explain your love of the Olympics to me? Do you break your sports-ban to watch it? Or are you one of those mythical women who loves to watch sports?

Filed under : Girl Stuff
By May Vanderbilt
At 11:03 pm
Comments : 18
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

February 10, 2010

A Not-So-Romantic Post

Did you guys watch the Superbowl this weekend? Yeah, me neither. I mean, I was at a party where the Superbowl was played, but “watching” might be kind of an exaggeration. But I do like parties, and my husband and I met at a SuperBowl party seven years ago, so I have a kind of sentimental fondness for them.

(Sidenote: I was recently explaining to someone that Wayne and I met at a SuperBowl party, and the guys nearly choked and said he couldn’t think of a less likely couple. Which I took as a huge compliment.)

I wasn’t exactly watching the game at that party seven years ago, either, if I’m honest. I was painting my nails. Bright red.

But wait! It’s not like that! I’m not the kind of girl who goes to manly parties and paints her nails! I swear! The only person I knew at the party was in the corner painting her nails, and I didn’t have anyone else to talk to, so I sat with her and followed suit. My future husband noticed me because he thought I was an idiot—what kind of person paints their fingernails at a SuperBowl party??

The thing is, I NEVER paint my nails. That’s not me. He got the absolute wrong impression of me that night. In fact, I can think of exactly three times in the past ten years that I have done my nails.
The first was obviously this party, where I managed to turn off the cutest guy at the party.

The second time was almost exactly two years later, when I knew he was going to propose. He wasn’t exactly subtle about asking what kinds of rings I liked and making romantic plans for Valentine’s Day weekend. And since I knew I was going to say yes, I went out and got a manicure and had my nails painted in a nice subtle clear polish so that when I took pictures of the ring to show my parents, my nails would look nice.

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(What I hadn’t accounted for was the fact that my knuckles are apparently enormous and didn’t tell Wayne to buy an extra-large size.)

The third and most recent time I got my nails done was the day before our wedding. I went to the ghetto place around the corner from my apartment and got them painted clear again. It cost me $7. No one even noticed, which was exactly what I was going for.

So. I don’t like football and I don’t paint my nails, and those are the two things that brought me and my husband together. I suppose that tends to be way these things work—you find love where you least expect it—but with both the SuperBowl and Valentine’s Day this week, it’s kind of nice to reflect on how we got to where we are.

Filed under : Girl Stuff
By annedayton
At 5:11 pm
Comments : 6
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

February 9, 2010

Did Somebody Say Free??

I know you’re not the sort of person who likes free stuff. But if you were, let’s say, if you were the kind of person whose heart skipped a beat when she heard the word F-R-E-E, then you should stop by Teen Scene Magazine.

They’re giving away the complete four-book set of THE MIRACLE GIRLS series to three grand-prize winners. And five lucky runners up will receive an early copy of LOVE WILL KEEP US TOGETHER, which, I might point out, does not hit shelves until APRIL!

Anyway, I’m sure that doesn’t interest you at all. As you were…

(Psst: Here’s the link again! Go on! Who are you kidding?)

Filed under : Reading and Writing
By May Vanderbilt
At 10:49 am
Comments : 4
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

February 7, 2010

When Chanting Goes Wrong…

As you guys know, I recently became Episcopalian and I’d say that I’m charmed by about 99.98% of my newly adopted denomination’s traditions. The boys’ choir! The incense! The soaring cathedral! But I’m really struggling with the chanting thing.

No, not the concept of chanting, which I actually rather like; more like the practical application thereof. You see our old deacon, who I simply called The Very Rev., had a beautiful, melodic voice. And when he retired I found out that he got his start in the church family as…wait for it…wait for it…a choir boy! But since he retired, a whole host of good-hearted, very awesome, very intelligent people have been filling in and let’s just say…not all of them can carry a tune.

Today, the priest who married us presided over the choral eucharist–which is what they call “big church.” I’m probably this priest’s biggest fan. It’s why I chose him to marry us, but bless his God-fearin’ heart, the poor guy sounds like an out-of-tune instrument in the hands of a three year old with an attitude problem. I wish I could say that I don’t notice, that my heart and mind are dwelling on higher things, but when someone’s voice cracks on a note only achieved by wild dogs, you can’t help but cringe.

We miss you, Very Rev!

In other news, it’s happened yet again. Poof! It’s almost Lent. As you know, I typically use Lent not as a time to give something up but more as a time to draw closer to God with mental discipline. Hey! I’m an adopted Anglican! Cut me some slack! Plus, what could be more Anglican than marching to the beat of your own drum, right? (Oh, religious humor!)

And this morning, while I was wincing in my pew, listening to my poor friend belt out a wonky chant, I decided what I’m going to do for Lent. I’m going to read The Book of Common Prayer. And in a hilariously modern twist, I’m going to read it on my iPhone–not because I’m making some weird statement. I’ve just renounced paper books. My Christmas list this year said in big bold letters at the top: NO PAPER BOOKS PLEASE! I’m obsessed with the Kindle App on my iPhone and since I discovered it, I read and buy more books. It’s just so darn convenient!

common-prayer

Anyway, The Book of Common Prayer is a masterpiece first published in 1549 and my fellow Episcopalians speak of it only in hushed tones. I’m awfully late to the party on this one, but I’m looking forward to tackling it.

Are you celebrating Lent this year?

Filed under : Holy Moly, Pop Culture, Reading and Writing
By May Vanderbilt
At 9:42 pm
Comments : 7
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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