Anne & May

Some of you have written to ask how I’m liking being married. Oops! I have been very neglectful in posting about our cozy little lives lately. So I thought I’d give you just a tiny peek into our incredible joy.

(I just reread that sentence and found it a little nauseating. Did you? I’m so sorry if you did. We can get back to talking about The Bachelor, and Jesus junk, and other stuff soon.)

The Kind of Conversations We Have:

May: I thought of another baby name I think you’ll hate.

The Mr: Could it be worse than the one you liked last week?

M: Way worse. I love it.

Mr: You never even get the genders right.

M: HOLLIS! Don’t you just love that?

Mr: For a girl? That’s a girl’s name. I knew a girl named Hollis.

M: NO! It’s a boy’s name! I promise this time. It’s great, right? You don’t hate it?

Mr: I like it for a girl.

M: I’ll bet you one million dollars it’s a boy’s name. ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

(brief Googling interlude)

Mr: Fine, I owe you a million dollars.

M: And what about Baby Hollis?

Mr: It kind of reminds me of Run DMC’s “Christmas in Hollis”…so I’ll take it under consideration.

M: (quietly celebrates)

The Kind of Fights We Have:

M: You haven’t talked to me all day!

Mr: We talked! I talked to you…about lunch. Remember?

M: Oh, but that doesn’t really count. We should talk more! I really miss you!

Mr: But I’m sitting right here! I’ve been sitting here all day. How could you miss me?

(brief contemplating interlude)

M: On our honeymoon, we spent all day together and we never worked and we talked all the time! I think I have honeymoon lag. I miss talking all day long.

Mr: Hmm…okay, we can talk. What do you want to talk about?

M: I don’t know.

The Little Things That Make Me Happy:

When it rains, he leaves an umbrella out for me and doesn’t mention it. Doesn’t that make it better? It’s just there waiting for me. It goes undiscussed. I love it.

He pretends to not watch Jon & Kate Plus 8, but I catch him laughing sometimes–especially when Aaden does something funny.

I have (mostly) picked up the basic rules of basketball. It only took me five years! Basketball is his second favorite thing in the world. The first is venison jerky. (Did you think I was going to say me?)

There are loads more of things I could say, but this post is already giving me a toothache, so I guess that’s why I haven’t been posting about being married too much. We are the stuff of Hallmark cards at the moment, cheesy, cringe-inducing, and crazy happy.

–May

PS I am a GENIUS at thinking of unusual baby names. Do not even doubt it!

PPS No, we’re not pregnant or even trying for a baby. I just like thinking of baby names.

Well, after a couple of crazy and very special weeks, I’m back at work and back to the grind. I survived turning thirty, and am here to report that it only hurts a little. I had the first birthday party I’ve had in…. twenty years? It was just a few friends, but it was fun. I also survived Michigan, snow and all, and I’m even coming along pretty well on my knitting. Check it out!

That’s a scarf. Or about a third of a scarf. I have no idea why it’s so wide (except that I kind of guessed about how many stitches to start out with), but hopefully someday it will grow up into a big, tall, not too lopsided scarf. I’ll keep you posted (I know you’re on the edge of your seats).

In the meantime, I wanted to share that my loved ones are keeping the Jesus-tchotchke market recession-proof. I got some AWESOME Jesus-themed gifts, like these sweet socks:

I think my favorite part is how the guitars make a cross. I also love the conversation that ensued when my neighbor made me open them in the middle of the party:

ME: Oh my goodness these are so cool! Where did you get them?!
NEIGHBOR: At Salahis! You know, that deli down the street?
ME [thinking, as there are about eight delis on that street]: Oh, you mean the one where the guy got stabbed a couple months ago?

[room goes quiet]

NEIGHBOR: Exactly! They have a whole display of socks!
ME: Awesome!

My mom got me this awesome tote bag. My mom pronounced it hideous, but I think it’s rad. And you can fit a small child in this thing (not that we tried).

My co-worker brought me this amazing collection of magnets, which I hung on my office door. That’s Jesus there in the middle, and on the left we have Paul and St. Ceclia, and I think that’s Peter and Mary on the right. My office is now the holiest on the hallway.

All that, plus Fireproof! Btw, I’m thinking of hosting a Kirk Cameron Movie Marathon. We’d watch Fireproof and Left Behind, and maybe some old Growing Pains episodes if we have time. Wayne doesn’t think anyone would come. I think if that’s the case we need to find some cooler friends.

And speaking of Armageddon…. did anyone notice it’s Armageddon week on the History Channel?

So there you go. From knitting to Armageddon in one short post. Welcome to the new year.

Each year after Christmas I look up and realize I have a lot of cool stuff that I’m simply not going to use. And what do I do about that? Why, I just put the items in my closet and they go to waste. Well, not this year. One of my resolutions is to do more with less–and waste less.

That’s how I decided to hold my first annual Blowout Blog Giveaway. So at the risk of looking like Crazy Sam’s House of Bargains, I’m going to send these finds to any takers. Think of it like shopping…in your pajamas…but everything is free. Just leave a comment below listing the items you’re interested in and I’ll pull names out of a hat in each category on Friday!

First up we have a brand-new copy of My, Myself, and I Am. It’s a fill-in book about your spiritual journey.

Up next, is an advance reading copy of The Miracle Girls. These suckers are sent to reviewers before the book is 100% done. People like to read them because they often include mistakes and sections that were cut out of the final version of the book. And I’ll personalize this item for you.

Item #3 is a brand-new Moleskine journal. These are the end-all, be-all of journals and perfect for those who love to jot down a quick thought.

Item #4 is a gently used Skagen clock. It’s very sleek and modern and cost me a pretty penny when I bought it. BUT we got lots of clocks as wedding gifts so I’d like to find this guy a new home. The face is suspended over the frame with two thick spongy bands. Very cool.

Item #5 is a brand-new yoga mat. I got this for Christmas but I already have one I love. Any yogis out there?

Item #6 is never-been-worn white gloves. These gloves are opera length with a matte finish. They were a true white but it turns out my wedding dress was more of an “ivory” so I had to get a different pair and this pair was non-refundable. Anyone getting married out there or attending a formal event?

Item #7 and #8 are silicon cake pans in fun holiday shapes. I’ve never used these but they’re adorable. Any bakers out there?

Item #9 is the wackiest…it’s a shower timer. It has a suction cup on the back and it times exactly 4 minutes–which is I guess your goal for taking a “green” shower. This came with a present I bought someone on my list and I didn’t think they’d use it. Any takers?

I hope something caught your eye!

–May

Happy, happy birthday, Anne. In keeping with tradition, I have posted a picture of us where you look AWESOME and I look like dirt. Why, it’s the best present I could give you. You know what my face looks like here? You know those two masks that people use to represent theater? My face looks like the frowning one. Oy. You look like a model.

But that’s not the only present I got you. I also got you THIS!

It comes out on DVD in just a few weeks and then it’s headed to your house! Fireproof your marriage! I don’t think that process involves wearing flame-retardant pajamas!

Welcome to being officially old, my friend.

–May

Happy, happy new year! Isn’t it so weird that it’s 2009? For some reason, the passing of a year feels so significant now. I guess I’m just getting old. But it was this creeping sentimentalism that sent me digging through the archives for my new year’s reflections of yore.

I had a pretty rough 2006 (I refer to it as “the dark period”) and it’s so obvious in my post. I was pretty bummed because I’d been out of work for 8 solid months after moving to California. I must have interviewed and been told no 1,000 times and that really does a number on your self-confidence. Plus, my grandpa died and I hadn’t made new friends in the city yet. On the other hand, my 2007 ruled and Holly even pointed this out--causing me to fear my 2008 was jinxed. I had forgotten all about the jinx until I re-read my post and though I can soundly say that my year was not a catastrophe, it was a little mixed–as I’m sure many of yours were.

First and foremost I got married and I’ve never, ever been happier in my life. We had our first Christmas Day together and it made the merry holiday even better. But it was also a year when I worked far too much, slept very little, and stressed a great deal about money. I lost a dear friend in the full bloom of health and I saw many friends laid off this year. And in general there was a great tension in the air.

All of this looking back somehow sent me in search of the meaning of the lyrics of Auld Lang Syne. Here’s the Wikipedia for it if you’re curious. The long and short of the song is how important community and relationships are. Here are the official lyrics. Just translate “for auld lang syne” to “for the old times.”

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old times since ?

CHORUS:

For auld lang syne, my dear,

for auld lang syne,

we’ll take a cup of kindness yet,

for auld lang syne.

And surely you’ll buy your pint cup !
And surely I’ll buy mine !
And we’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine ;
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We two have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine^† ;
But seas between us broad have roared
since auld lang syne.

CHORUS

And there’s a hand my trusty friend !
And give us a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.

Somehow reading that, I don’t know, it all came together for me. In the past I stacked up the year’s events, took stock of them, deeming them “good” or “bad,” and moved on. Throw another year on the old trash heap and keep on truckin’.  This year, for some reason, this process didn’t feel right. Here’s how I’m looking at things this time around.

This year, I was alive. I suffered through hard times and the pain from them reminded me that I am here. I experienced true joy and knew how very sweet life could be. And through it all, there were people. My people. And though we had our ups and downs, spats and petty moments, we went through it all together. So just like the song says, let’s raise a cup to the old days and remember how cruel/beautiful/bizarre/joyous life can be.

Speaking of people and friendships and being connected...I joined Twitter. Let’s follow each other!

–May

PS Best New Year’s Eve moment in a chick flick ever…and it even features Auld Lang Syne!

“Hope in the face of difficulty, hope in the face of uncertainty, the audacity of hope: In the end, that is God’s greatest gift to us, the bedrock of this nation, a belief in things not seen, a belief that there are better days ahead.”

– Barack Obama

We landed back in California yesterday, and we looked like death warmed over after a week with my parents. Why? Because I have the world’s fittest parents. I have often wondered if they are hyper-active aliens from another planet, which might explain a lot. And their three kids are such sloths in comparison. Honestly, it’s like they should have been Michael Phelps’ parents. Do you know they took us on a six-mile walk one day? This was after my mom got up early and did TWO SPIN CLASSES. Here, wait. I think you need a visual of them:

Now I’m not allowed to tell you how old they are, but let’s just say that my dad was forced to join the military during Vietnam and my mom got married in a pillbox hat. The funniest part about this story is they flew out of my hometown the same day we did. And where were they headed? Why, to Colorado to enjoy five days of heart-pumping, breakneck downhill skiing. They were not one bit tired. We, on the other hand, were like the walking dead.

Christmas at our house was wonderful. It was filled with lots of little people like this:

But the real star of the show was my dad’s Christmas present: a new kitten. We joke that my dad is like Robert DeNiro in Meet the Parents. He’s big, he’s a little scary to boyfriends, and he is obsessed with his cat. But a few years ago his beloved cat Kitty went to Kitty Cat Heaven. We’ve been after Mom to let us get him a new one and finally this year she relented. A couple of us went to the pound, held all the kittens, and came home with this little bundle of joy:

My dad took one look at him, named him Kitty, and we spent the rest of Christmas at this little guy’s beck and call. We chose him because he was sleeping at the pound while all the other kittens were jumping around and being frisky. But now we know that was just his clever strategy for getting adopted.

Be ye not fooled by a sleeping kitten! It is a cruel ruse! The second we got him home, he started doing this:

But we all loved him anyways, especially the baby of the family, who is still learning to share and would wail inconsolably when the kitty decided to sit on someone else’s lap. All in all, he was the best present of Christmas. Here’s hoping you had a bright and merry holidays, filled with joyous sights, like a kitten attacking a plant, and happy sounds, like purring.

–May

I’m spending Christmas with my in-laws in Michigan this year, and while we’re having a nice time, I have to say it’s very different from Christmas at my house. And to be honest, I was kind of dreading it–I’m not a huge fan of snow, and my family is awesome, and Christmas is a big deal for my mom, and I suspected this year would never measure up. Christmas at my house is pretty hard to beat. Plus, the California sunshine makes all things good.

But it was Wayne’s mom’s turn, and his family is great, so even though I wasn’t excited about it, I decided to act like an adult and make the best of it. It wouldn’t be Christmas like I know it, but it would be Christmas, and I realized I needed to be proactive about how I dealt with the elements(not all of which involved weather this year).

First off, I decided that hating the snow would only work against me. I can’t do anything about it. There will be snow in Michigan.

So I thought long and hard about what I hate about it. I realized that for one thing, my feet always get wet because I didn’t have snow boots, and then I freeze. It snows in New York, but then it melts right away, so I’ve never really needed boots. I decided it would be worth the price of good boots to keep me warm and not mad at the world, so I went shopping, and I found a pair I love. Can I just say how much happier I am? Boots=happiness. Now I understand what everyone is so excited about. Getting shoes that make snow bearable made a HUGE difference in how I deal with the cold.

And then there’s the no exercise bit. I hate not being able to go for a run, but two feet of snow makes that difficult. I get stir-crazy and cranky if I don’t exercise, so I racked my brain trying to figure out how to fix that this trip.

And then the lightbulb went on. Cross-country skiing is like running for the snow! Wayne was more than happy to find out where to rent skis to keep me sane.

I don’t actually like downhill skiing all that much (or, more truthfully, downhill doesn’t like me) but cross-country is just my speed: repetitive and pointless and somehow cathartic. I’d only done it once before, but loved it, so I decided to try it again, and I have to say, being able to get out and be active has helped so much. I don’t hate the snow nearly as much when it’s not actively thwarting my plans.

Another thing I’ve had trouble with in the past is the fact that we do a lot of siiting around and talking here (visiting, they call it). Now, I’m way too high-strung to sit and do nothing for hours on end. An hour in I just want to get up and DO something. But my friend Becca, who has this same problem when she visits her in-laws, had a brilliant suggestion: knit. If you’re doing something productive, you won’t feel like you’re wasting time.

This was such a revelation that not knowing how to knit didn’t seem like much of an obstacle to me. She taught me the basics, and–here’s the genius part– my mother-in-law is an expert knitter, so she’s helping me too, which makes her feel useful and makes me feel productive. Today everyone was sitting around after dinner, and I started to get antsy, so I whipped out the needles, and viola! I felt so much better right away that I don’t even care if my scarf is lumpy and uneven (I’m really not very good). Problem solved.

Which is all to say, I wish I were with my family this year, but I’m feeling like quite the adult for trying to do all I can to make it better despite that. My attitude, I’m discovering, and what I do to make it better, have made all the difference. Have any of you ever felt like this? How do you survive (even enjoy!) holidays when it doesn’t feel like home? I’m taking suggestions, so I’d appreciate any tips you have!

May the Lord bless you on this holy day. Have a safe and happy holiday!

You know those people who bore their neighbors with reels and reels of vacation photos? Ahem, well, I may have joined their ranks…

The thing is, I was really worried about our wedding pictures because I’m simply not photogenic. Now I know some people say that when they’re trying to be modest but just ask poor Wayne, who once had to take an author photo of us. After hours and hours of snapping shots, we ended up with a handful of pictures–none of which featured both of us looking good. We bribed a Random House book-cover designer with a bottle of tequila and he photoshopped the best shots of each of us together. Thus, our author photo looks mostly okay. (Note, though, that I seem to be sitting on Anne’s knee…)

So, when the professional wedding pictures came in and they looked pretty darn good, I could have died a happy woman. And though I’m sure you’re totally not interested, you guys are basically my last place to share them. Any chance you could humor a newlywed here? After this, I’m going to be reduced to making T-shirts and novelty plates with them. Oh…I know! I can decorate the walls of my pretty padded room after the nice men in white coats come for me! (I sincerely hope I’m not the first bride this has happened to.)

Here goes crazy…

Hard to say because I’ve lost my mind but this MAY BE my favorite shot. I should probably look at all 300 again just to make sure…

A fist bump for good luck from my sister.

The cathedral was very atmospheric at night.

Somehow, I don’t think of myself as this short.

This labyrinth plays a big part in our second Miracle Girls book, Breaking Up Is Hard To Do.

This is why you’ll never see us standing up in our author photo. We don’t fit in the same frame.

It’s just a shame no one felt they could relax and be themselves.

Okay, okay. I’ll stop. You see what I mean? I’m tempted to get one of those Carousel film projectors (like that famous scene in Mad Men) and invite you over to our rumpus room for a never-ending evening that you’ll later compare to a visit to the dentist.

Don’t worry. I’m seeking professional help.

–May