November 19, 2008
My Miracle Girl
May is on honeymoon but she’ll be back in December. In the meantime, please welcome the lovely Felicity White of Rare Rocks to Anne & May. In addition to being one of those hilarious and multi-talented Nickerson girls, she is a fellow writer, a wonderful mom, and the kind of person who knows a rare rock when she sees one.
Last week we celebrated Claire’s sixth birthday, and cupcakes with fluffy purple icing were enjoyed by all! Birthdays are special for everyone, but Claire is my very own miracle girl. This birthday is extra special.
Milestones like birthdays and anniversaries are designed for us to pause and celebrate life. I’m not sure why, but sometimes we find it hard to celebrate. In fact, celebration is one of the traditional disciplines of the Christian life – something we are encouraged to cultivate and develop as we mature. We have Christian disciplines in place so that we can make conscious efforts to grow in our faith. I think when we have trouble celebrating, it is because we have lost a valuable skill from our childhoods. You don’t have to tell a child to remember to celebrate. For proof, look at this picture of my sister Serenity on her sixth birthday:
I love this picture for a lot of reasons, but Seren’s emphatic fingers are my favorite. It was as if she was saying to the Universe, today I am six and it shall not be forgotten! It is a celebration!
The truth is, on that day little Serenity also lost a very special great-grandmother. She was a beloved, godly woman who was always dressed up and always kept a container of homemade frozen applesauce in her freezer. She fought illness for some time before her death, but it was still a terrible sadness to bring to a six year-old’s birthday party.
But kids know how to celebrate, and Serenity reminds us in this picture that the birthdays will go on. The celebrations must continue even in our grief.
Every birthday for my Claire is also the anniversary of her twin sister’s death. Born 15 weeks premature, Claire was basically healthy at birth while her sister, Ellery, was weak and sick. It could be a bittersweet day for me, but it rarely stays that way for long. Instead, it is a day full of purple icing and sparkly candles. It is the big day when we remember all the little things that changed this year. Claire learned to go down the front steps without holding onto anyone’s hand. Claire started Kindergarten and is learning to read, something we didn’t even know if she would be able to do.
I understand the purpose of grieving and I would never advocate a rush through this process, but today I’m remembering the importance of moving on as well.
Dallas Willard says this of the discipline of celebration:
“Celebration heartily done makes our deprivations and sorrows seem small, and we find in it great strength to do the will of our God because his goodness becomes so real to us.”
It is strange that such paradoxes of emotions can co-exist, but now I’m beginning to see it as one of the many cycles of life made so much more bearable with a little faith. Celebration reminds us to have hope, to believe that things will get better. Celebration reminds us to look straight into the camera of life, no matter what it has thrown at us that day, and shout, “Purple Cupcakes!”
What can you celebrate today?
Felicity, this is beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Happy birthday to Claire, and God bless Ellery (and you all).
I have a question about the photo of Serenity’s birthday. We know Serenity and Felicity, and hear rumors about Charity, but is there a fourth Nickerson child?
Today, I woke up in a grouchy mood, and then I went outside and it was FREEZING. So today I can celebrate warm scarves and hats. Not exactly what you meant, I know, but I’m trying.
That is - get ready for it - Joe. Felicity, Serenity, Charity, and JOE! He’s always been glad he didn’t get an -ity name, unless it had been Masculinity.
And I think being thankful for scarves and hats is exactly what I was going for - we have to start with the easy things. Being thankful for the easy things makes it easier to be thankful when we’re in the middle of hard things. It’s like exercising our thankful muscle.
Thanks, Anne!
I love that photo. Fantastic. And thanks for sharing both your grief and your joy with us. Purple cupcakes are definitely something to celebrate!
I, too, am celebrating scarf-and-jacket weather - and Christmas decorations in the dorm lobby where I work - and the joys of writing, and a good breakfast.
Felicity, you played this well. Because if this post had not had me practically sobbing with how beautiful it is, I would merely be saying to you, “I can’t BELIEVE you found a way to put this picture out for the world.” You know what I think really got her to appreciate its poetry? We now have a picture of our children together one year, and guess whose son is holding up six fingers? It isn’t mine. I guess this family just knows how to celebrate.
Speaking of, I’m quite sure we could get Joe to comment on here if we begged him.
I have a new winter coat to face the cold this year, and our town has hung its Christmas wreaths, and I was actually smiling to myself in the car this morning. Just smiling at my own crazy-happy life with all those gorgeous boys I live with. And like Katie, writing makes me happy too. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go reference this post on my blog and put up a picture of a certain little boy when he was six.
I’m celebrating daughters and granddaughters (and great-grandmothers)in Heaven and on earth. Thanks for helping me keep my focus on the celebration instead of the sorrow, Lici.
And I’m also celebrating the sons and grandsons, of course. I wanted to dance a little jig over all your lives as I was wrapping Christmas presents last night.
I am Joe,the only boy and non -ity in the Nickerson family. I am celebrating the fact that I have such amazing sisters with hilariously ironic children, and I hope my little girls get to grow up being as great of friends as my sisters did.
And I’m Rochelle. I’m thankful for Joe who gave me two beautiful girls whose infectious smiles make life full of celebrations and sparkles.
I LOVE this post. It practically glows with warmth and love and hope. And Masculinity?–you crack me up.
Today I’m celebrating that it’s finally acting like fall where I live. It’s a glorious blue sky day and the wind is blowing the leaves around. Perfect.
Your little girl is beautiful!
Becky
Today I’m celebrating that the sun is shining, summer is on its way, tonight I’m moving into the cutest apartment ever and am going to be all of about fifty steps away from many of my favourite places
Kara, did you post that bit about summer just to taunt me??
There are snow flurries outside, and I therefore hate the world right now.
This is a lovely post. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself, Felicity.
I’m trying NOT to celebrate the end of the semester before it actually IS the end of the semester. That’s just dangerous all around.
BUT I am celebrating the fact that I have a car even if it needs repairs I can’t afford right now.